April 8, 2010
THE LADY WHO DOES YOUR DRY CLEANING TAKES OVER KYRGYSTAN Cites “I’ve had your slacks for three months, its time for you to pick them up already” as main thrust of revolution MOSCOW – After a day of bloody protests forced Kyrgyzstan’s president to flee the capitol, The Lady Who Does Your Dry Cleaning has taken control of this impoverished nation in central Asia. Already dismayed over all the people who try to claim their dry cleaning without their ticket, forcing her to use your phone number to look up your information when she has better things to do, The Lady Who Does Your Dry Cleaning was finally driven to organize a political uprising when you, specifically, dropped off a pair of slacks months ago to get hemmed, but have not bothered to come claim them even though she sees you walk by her shop all the time. Protesters took to the streets, demanding that you come pick up your slacks already, and angry at the Kyrgyz government for sitting idly by while small businesses like hers suffer at the hands of inconsiderate young people like you. President Obama, concerned over the fate of a US Airbase in southern Kyrgyzstan that is essential to the war in nearby Afganistan, issued a statement pleading for you to “do what’s right, not what’s easy” and pick up your slacks. “I know you probably don’t even want those slacks anymore, because you baught a new pair while you were waiting for those to get hemmed, but enough is enough.” The statement said. Kyrgyztan was formed in the early 1990s with the collapse of the Soviet Union, in conjunction with scrabble enthusiasts who saw the new country as a killer opportunity to change the dynamic of scrabble forever. As the national anthem explicitly states: You can’t complainWhen all you have is a bunch of random consonants and a couple Ys Now there is a solution:Mighty Kyrgyz That’s 26 pointsBefore multipliers  The Lady Who Does Your Dry Cleaning has yet to comment on the status of the national anthem, though she has already appointed a secretary of art and culture, her husband, The Old Guy In The Stand On The Corner Who Overcharges For Vegetables.

THE LADY WHO DOES YOUR DRY CLEANING TAKES OVER KYRGYSTAN

Cites “I’ve had your slacks for three months, its time for you to pick them up already” as main thrust of revolution

MOSCOW – After a day of bloody protests forced Kyrgyzstan’s president to flee the capitol, The Lady Who Does Your Dry Cleaning has taken control of this impoverished nation in central Asia.

Already dismayed over all the people who try to claim their dry cleaning without their ticket, forcing her to use your phone number to look up your information when she has better things to do, The Lady Who Does Your Dry Cleaning was finally driven to organize a political uprising when you, specifically, dropped off a pair of slacks months ago to get hemmed, but have not bothered to come claim them even though she sees you walk by her shop all the time.

Protesters took to the streets, demanding that you come pick up your slacks already, and angry at the Kyrgyz government for sitting idly by while small businesses like hers suffer at the hands of inconsiderate young people like you.

President Obama, concerned over the fate of a US Airbase in southern Kyrgyzstan that is essential to the war in nearby Afganistan, issued a statement pleading for you to “do what’s right, not what’s easy” and pick up your slacks. “I know you probably don’t even want those slacks anymore, because you baught a new pair while you were waiting for those to get hemmed, but enough is enough.” The statement said.

Kyrgyztan was formed in the early 1990s with the collapse of the Soviet Union, in conjunction with scrabble enthusiasts who saw the new country as a killer opportunity to change the dynamic of scrabble forever. As the national anthem explicitly states:

You can’t complain
When all you have is a bunch of random consonants and a couple Ys
Now there is a solution:
Mighty Kyrgyz
That’s 26 points
Before multipliers 

The Lady Who Does Your Dry Cleaning has yet to comment on the status of the national anthem, though she has already appointed a secretary of art and culture, her husband, The Old Guy In The Stand On The Corner Who Overcharges For Vegetables.

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